Random facts about the Avengers
by Anthony E. Stark
Summary: The Avengers do some crazy things in their spare time which have been immortalised in this guide that tells everyone of their secrets. (A bunch of random short stories that don't really have a plot) Rated T for Tony.
1. Chapter 1

**Random facts about the Avengers**

**1. Loki's minions will help him take over the world.**

The swimming pool on top of the Avengers tower was filled with ducks. Ducks everywhere.

"I'm not keen on ducks really," Bruce said as three chased him for the bread in his hand.

"I find them quite amusing," Loki chuckled in reply before throwing more bread into the duck-infested pool.

Bruce shook the crumbs off his clothes as he walked back to the elevator, "They're evil. Now hurry up, it's starting to rain."

He turned back to see the god standing tall in a sea of ducks. "JOIN MY ARMY EVIL MINIONS AND TOGETHER WE SHALL RULE THE NINE REALMS!"

Bruce just stepped into the elevator and left Loki to plot world domination with his 'minions'.

**2. Steve's wardrobe eats people.**

Steve sat on his bed reading the newspaper and making the most of the tower being silent for once.

A large crash came from inside his wardrobe which got his attention. It sounded like there was someone trying to escape. There was more crashing sounds and then suddenly the door swung open as Tony ran out before slamming it shut again.

"Your wardrobe ate me," he said breathlessly before leaving Steve to read in peace again.

**3. Tony thinks he's a squid.**

"Tony, get out of the pool already!"

"But I'm a squiiiiiiiiid. Duh!"

"You're not a squid. Now get out of the pool, it's freezing in there."

"I'm doing squid things, Bruce."

"Like what?"

"Being a squid."

"You do this every week!"

"Don't leave me! I'm cold... Cold squiiiiiiiiid."

**4. Fury is scarier without the eyepatch.**

Clint was sitting on the floor of his room organising his socks when Tony burst in through the locked door and dived under the archer's bed. Miffed that his socks were now messed up, Clint poked the terrified man with a stray arrow.

"What's the matter? Did you see a ghost?"

Tony shuffled under the bed so that he was facing the other man, "Even worse. Trust me. A _lot_ worse."

"Did you see Thor in the shower?"

"What?! No!" Tony protested before sliding on his belly across the floor to get nearer to Clint.

"Fury. Eyepatch. No eyepatch!" He gasped before passing out where he lay on the floor.

Clint wondered how that could scare the man of iron so much as he went back to sorting out his socks again. Perhaps he'd find out someday.


	2. Chapter 2

**5. Tony doesn't get what chickens are.**

"What's a pigeon?" Thor asked an annoyed Steve.

"They're birds. Okay?"

Tony laughed in the corner but shut up instantly when the irritated soldier glared at him.

"Oh, I understand!" Thor said with a huge smile. "Erm Steve? What's a chicken?"

Tony decided to prove his intelligence to the Asgardian, "Chickens are just land fish."

Thor nodded while Steve just looked blankly at the proud 'genius'.

"Do you even know what chickens are?"

**6. Tony's bookcase eats people.**

Clint stood awkwardly in the corner as Bruce and Natasha continued their heated argument. He agreed with Bruce fully but Nat would kill him if she found out he stood up for the opposition.

He went to break it up when a random bullet flew from nowhere and sent the archer stumbling into a bookcase which spun around, with Clint, into a secret room.

Nobody noticed that he'd gone until he returned a week later in Tony's lab - which surprised the billionaire a lot.

"Stark, your bookcase ate me," was all Clint said before storming out of the lab.

**7. Moustaches are cool.**

All of the Avengers stared at Tony as he sat eating his breakfast. With a giant moustache stuck on his upper lip.

"Erm... Stark?" Bruce warily asked as the genius continued eating his toast peacefully.

"Yes Banner?" Tony asked without looking up from his plate.

"There's a mo-" Tony interrupted him by jumping up from his seat and running off down the corridor.

"VIVA LA MOUSTACHE!" He yelled behind him as the others just stared at him shock.

**Author's notes: The story of what happened to Clint behind the bookcase is for another day.. *maniac laugh* *clears throat* Anyway, I like Tony so he's going to be in a LOT of these. Oh and Loki's an Avenger now. Don't ask why. He just is..**


	3. Chapter 3

**8. Tony is banned from Bruce's lab.**

The door to Bruce's lab (even though it was technically Tony's) opened to reveal a very hyper billionaire. He sighed as Tony skipped over to a computer and started to poke at little objects around it until they exploded.

"I'm booooored!" Tony whined as he span around on a random office chair. "Bruuuuce, do something!"

"Why me?!" The other scientist growled as he carefully poured a blue liquid into a yellow one. "Can't you see I'm busy? Bother somebody else."

"Thor's in Asgard, Nat and Steve are at the Helicarrier, Clint's playing video games and Loki's feeling ill. Pleeeease do something! I'm bored and it's boring being bored so I don't want to be bored to prevent this boredom!"

Bruce sighed, ignoring the whingeing man of iron for a couple of minutes as he continued with his experiment. He put the highly explosive liquid into a little beaker and looked over to check on Tony, who was now no longer in the office chair.

A large crash came from behind the scientist, which nearly made him knock his experiment over, and he span round at Lightspeed to see the billionaire standing proudly behind him with a traffic cone on his head and one on each hand. "Do ya like my new armour?" Tony asked while strutting around the table Bruce was at. The sight of it was worthy of a facepalm from Bruce - Tony looked like an absolute freaking idiot, well, even more of an idiot than usual.

"Those traffic cones were part of an experiment, Stark." He groaned, looking up just in time to see a cone shoot across and crash into his experiment. His very important experiment that took ages. Tony gave him a sheepish smile as they both stared in shock at the green liquid slowly burning into the desk in front of them.

"Tony." Bruce said too calm, "GET OUT BEFORE I GO HULK ON YOU AND YOUR BLOODY TRAFFIC CONES!"

Shaking with rage he glared at Tony, who was cuddling the remaining two traffic cones, as the billionaire dashed out of the lab and locked the door behind him.

Later on that day Bruce found a note on the door to his room, _'I am not sorry. You deserved it for being so boring. I will not apologise ever and I am hiding until you calm down fully, I'm too pretty to die. I'm keeping the traffic cones though, they've given me an idea. Tony.'_ There was a little pink sticky note under it with different, more feminine, handwriting on, _'He's hiding in Clint's room if you wanted to kick his ass. Loki.'_

**9. Thor has an obsession with... himself.**

_'Have you ever seen in Thor's room before? He left the door open the other day and, being naturally curious as it's always locked, I peeked in to see if he's hiding anything. Anyway, enough of the story, the walls are coated in posters of himself. Honestly, there is not one little space of the original wall colour remaining and it's scary to see about a hundred Thor's staring at you. How does he get to sleep at night? He even has an Avengers duvet - very sad if you ask me... And, the bit that made me laugh the most: He has a little black bear that he's made a golden horned helmet for and a name tag that says it's called Loki! It's so creepy it's slightly cute.. Do you think Loki knows about it? I'm not telling him. - Clint'_

Tony looked up from the letter with an evil grin. He was going to find a way into Thor's room to see for himself and then tell Loki about the bear Thor more-than-likely cuddles at night.

**10. Loki's hobbies include pole dancing.**

The constant loud music was really starting to irritate Thor so he left his room to find who's to blame. It had been a long day and all he was nearly asleep when loud bass music came blaring out from a nearby room down the corridor. The god had tried to ignore it, hoping that somebody would turn it off, but after an hour he had given up with being calm.

It was strange that the music seemed to be coming from his brother's room and Thor paused at the door before slowly opening it. He was trying to not make a sound which was useless as the music drowned out any sound of his entry. The thunder-god gasped as he saw a pole in the middle of the room and a man in just a golden horned helmet and lilac pyjama bottoms dancing round it.

The pole dancing man noticed Thor in the door way, pausing as both their faces turned redder by the second. The music stopped just then - very bad timing - which made the situation seem even more awkward as he climbed down the pole quickly.

"Brother. I did not know you erm.." Thor said after the longest awkward silence he'd ever experienced.

"I thought I was home alone..." Loki replied with a sheepish grin while shuffling around next to the pole.

The thunder-god backed away into the corridor, "Just make sure that you keep the music down next time." He shut the door and walked in silence back to his room - Loki was obviously too embarrassed to continue with the music.

Thor locked his door behind him before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. At least the trickster had something to do other than plot world domination.

**Author's notes: Before I say what I wanted to say; I'd like to remind you all (especially evilducks) that Loki is MINE MINE MINE! *evil stare* ;) Oh, and thanks to everyone who's followed and favourited! Traffic cones for everybody!**

**What I wanted to say was 1. That Loki, Thor, Tony and Clint are going to be in this a LOT because I love them :3, 2. That this isn't going to be updated on a regular pattern, it's more of a 'when inspiration strikes' thing but I can assure you all that there will be somewhat regular updates because I have so much randomness I wish to share with you all! (feel honoured, not many people get the privilege of my awesomeness p) and 3. That if any of you read my other story, the next chapter will take a while to be published because I'm struggling to write it... :L**


	4. Chapter 4

**11. Movie nights are epic with the Avengers.**

Clint, Tony, Loki and Thor were lounging on bean bags and sofas in front of the huge TV in Tony's room. It had started off with just the billionaire hiding from Bruce with Clint, now the two gods had joined them because it seemed fun. All they did was creep from room to room to gather snacks and movies, giggling like maniacs while they did.

After going through all their favourite movies they had "nothing left to watch" even though Tony owned every movie in the world. (Believe me, he even owns movies that haven't even be released in cinemas - lucky git.) Thor had looked through the massive collection of films - that take up an entire room - and chose one that had caught his eye immediately. The Avengers. It would be easy for him to understand considering he was there. Clint had nearly killed something after trying to explain to the thunder-god what a Transformer is; Loki doesn't seem to understand either but stays silent, trying to stop Tony from stealing his popcorn.

The DVD had played for a few minutes now; the Tesseract had been introduced, S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were panicking and Fury was talking to Clint.

"THAT'S ME!", the archer had yelled to nobody in particular the moment that he was shown on-screen, "Oooh I look fit! Hey Tony, I'm in a movie!"

"Yes, well done. Just remember that I'm in th-"

The man of iron was cut off by Loki nearly shoving him off of the sofa they were sharing, "Shush! It's my big arrival."

A large blast emitted from the Tesseract as the room fell silent in anticipation. "They should really rename this 'How Loki failed at taking over Earth because the handsome Tony Stark stopped him'!" Tony announced proudly before the trickster glared at him for ruining the seriousness of his entry.

Thor gasped as multiple extras were killed by the skilfulness of Loki, "Brother.. Wow."

_You have heart._

"Hey don't brainwash me you bastard!" Clint yelled while jumping up from his beanbag to punch Loki. A large hand grabbed the back of the archer's shirt and pulled him back to the floor.

"Leave my brother alone. He's going to get defeated anyway."

"Oi! Don't ruin the plot, mate!"

Tony threw popcorn at the thunder-god which was caught perfectly by Loki. "Haha thank you very much!"

The next few minutes was spent fighting over pizza (Thor's favourite - extra hot meat feast) and, once it was all gone, they looked up to see Natasha talking to Bruce.

"Oh so that's how he was persuaded.."

"Haven't you actually seen this before, Stark?"

"I have but I just fast forwarded it to the bits I'm in, Barton."

_Stop lying to me!_

Tony yelped in fear and hid behind a cushion, scared that the Bruce on the screen was actually in the room with them.

"I was cuddling that! And you can't hide from Bruce forever..", Loki sighed as the scared genius peeked over the fluffy pink cushion.

Tony only peeked over the cushion when the scene changed to him flying up from underwater. "I look pretty damn cool," he announced and Clint just rolled his eyes.

The four Avengers were silent for a while after that; not one person was able to make a witty comment while they were focused on how Steve was recruited. "Wow Coulson was really obsessed with Captain America.." Loki commented which earned him an evil glare off everyone but Tony - he was far too interested in the movie.

"YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WHEN YOU'RE THE REASON HE'S DE-" Clint shouted while punching the trickster's leg but got cut off by Thor.

"Stop getting annoyed at him, son of Barton."

"He's probably pissed off that he's portrayed as the bad guy to start with.." Tony muttered to Loki who didn't even seem a bit bothered with the archer getting more and more annoyed at the god.

Clint calmed down and apologised to the trickster with a promise to not get mad again. Thor laughed at the sight of Clint apologising and reminded the others that it'd be worse if it was Banner getting angry. Both of them were now giggling like little girls as the scene turned to Stuttgart; the god and the archer both agreed that they looked mega awesome. The Loki on the screen was now walking down the staircase to the posh party (looking very nice *wink*) and, as he whacked a random person with his 'glow-stick of destiny', Tony's jaw nearly hit the ground.

"Woah. That entrance is almost as impressive as mine." He smirked to Loki who was grinning back at him.

Stark jumped up, to everybody's surprise, stood up in front of the TV and spoke along with the god on the screen.

_Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state?_ The billionaire gestured to the three laughing men in front of him.

_It's the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation._ Every word was perfectly in time which made the others wonder how often Tony had watched the movie.

_The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power. For identity._ He looked Loki in the eye, both of them trying their hardest to stay serious about the over-expressiveness of the speech.

_You were made to be ruled._ The god shuddered as he realised how scary his improvised speech was - he also grinned at how skillful he is if he can make that up on the spot. Two squeaks of laughter from the others in the room interrupted Tony's focus when he said the last line.

_In the end, you will always kneel._

Tony strutted back to the sofa next to Loki and grinned at him before they burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"You did that.. Better than me!" The trickster gasped through his hysterical giggling. They only calmed down when they heard the entrance of Tony in the movie - still laughing a bit as Iron man blasted Loki away and aiming many missiles at him.

_Make your move, reindeer games._

Thor was so absorbed by Tony and Steve talking that he jumped at the sound of lightning coming from outside the plane; he laughed when Loki said his next line perfectly in time with the movie.

_I'm not overly fond of what follows._

The thunder-god pulled his brother out of the plane and took him to a mountain, to lecture the trickster before being cut off by Tony.

"Timing!" The billionaire laughed at how he cut off Thor's speech perfectly.

_You have no idea what you're dealing with. Uh, Shakespeare in the Park?_

Tony and Loki held their breaths, ready to say the next line. "Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?"

They all sat there absorbed by the action in the movie for what seemed like ages. "That man's playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did!" Everybody shouted at the same time, laughing at how all of them thought to say the same thing after so long in silence.

Clint and the rest of Loki's team attacked the helicarrier with a lot of explosions; Tony and Steve were fixing the broken engine while Thor fought off the Hulk. Coulson stood up to Loki before being stabbed in the back, literally.

"You killed him!" Tony shouted in shock, even though they all already knew it, as the Avengers gasped at seeing just how Phil died. They gasped again as they saw Loki heartlessly pressing the button which released the cage Thor was trapped in.

"You bastard." Clint muttered under his breath even though Loki didn't hear it, well, at least he thought it went unheard.

The next bit was spent fidgeting around under the fluffy blanket Tony had put over himself and Loki. It had started off with both sitting normally with their feet curled next to them but, after a lot of fidgeting from Tony, he had discovered that the god was really ticklish and started kicking Loki in the shin. The trickster was laughing and kicking the billionaire back until he decided that the film was more important than being tickled. Within seconds, Tony's feet were pinned down by Loki; the god watching the movie again like nothing had happened.

Clint's eyes were locked on the screen as the scene turned to Stark tower - Tony negotiating with Loki was something that the archer hadn't been around to witness.

_Please, tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity. Uh, actually I'm planning to threaten you. You should have left your armour on for that. Yeah. It's seen a bit of 'mileage' and you got the 'glow-stick of destiny.'_

"Glow-stick of destiny? I might have to use that sometime!" Thor boomed which made Loki roll his eyes and sigh, "You dare and you'll regret it," in reply.

_No drink? You sure? I'm having one._

"I really should of taken that drink.." The trickster mused to the others who weren't actually paying attention to him.

The thunder-god gasped as the Loki on the screen threw Tony out of the window, "Brother! You should know that it's rude to throw citizens out of windows on Midguard!"

"It's rude to throw people out of windows anywhere, doesn't mean it's not fun!" Loki replied with a smirk which earned him glares from both Thor and Tony.

None of the four men spoke again after that, they were too interested in the fighting on the screen, until Tony jumped up yet again to say his next big speech.

_All right, listen up. Until we can close that portal, our priority's containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays._ The billionaire gestured to Clint who grinned at the mention of himself.

_Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash._ Tony gestured to himself and posed - to the amusement of the others - until Steve said his next line.

_T__hor, you gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow 'em down. You got the lightning. Light the bastards up._ The god looked up at Stark in shock before bursting into fits of laughter.

"Son of Stark, you really are a true actor!"

Tony chuckled with a smug grin on his face, realised he'd missed the next few lines, and quickly said the last word to the speech.

"SMASH!"

This earned him a round of applause as he sat down, snuggling under the fluffy blanket to watch the rest of the fighting.

After a LOT of robots being smashed or punched to death, Loki was giving a speech to the Hulk about how he's superior - before being smashed into the ground multiple times.

Clint winced, "Oooh that must've hurt.. But you deserved it, you ass." Tony's laughter drowned out anything that the trickster had said in reply - probably some dark magic or a death threat.

More fighting followed; the Avengers seemed to be losing until Tony nuked the spaceship and all the robots died instantly.

_Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it._

"Stark! You're fighting off loads of robots, you nearly died and all you care about is eating?!" Thor exclaimed with slight sarcasm - it was weird to hear somebody other than Loki or Tony being sarcastic which made Clint snort with laughter; even Loki was hiding a grin behind his hand.

_If it's all the same to you... I think I'll have that drink now._

The trickster winced as he saw what a state he was in at that moment, not even gods can stay immaculate during such an intense fight.

"I really should've given you that drink, I'll get you one now!" Tony announced before striding off out of the door.

"How long do you think it'll be until -" Thor asked until he was interrupted by Tony running back in, shutting the door with a slam.

"I forgot! Hiding from Bruce! Get your own drink!" The billionaire gasped as he hid under the fluffy blanket and pulled it off of a giggling Loki.

"That movie was good," Clint said while he watched the credits go across the screen, "But, how was it all filmed without any of us noticing?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's notes: In reply to a review I couldn't respond to; Is it really that obvious that I'm British?! O.o (Actually I'm Asgardian, but don't tell the government that..) I can't begin to thank you all enough for your continued support, reviews, favourites and follows! THANK YOOOUU! I DO WHAT I WANT! #YOLOKI ;)**

**(in dedication to evilducks - its short but feel special)**

**12. Cereal can fly.**

Bruce was sat at the kitchen table eating Cheerios - because Thor had eaten all the Pop Tarts, again. It had been days since he was last out of his lab, he'd lost count of how much coffee he's drunk and he had no idea what the time was but it was dark outside.

As he lifted the spoon to his mouth, one of the bits of cereal started hovering in mid-air before zooming off to the left. Bruce quickly span around to see in the dim light Clint sitting cross-legged on top of the fridge with a fishing rod that had a Cheerio dangling from the end.

The archer waved before eating the cereal and going to catch another bit. Bruce sat there in silent shock for a while.

**13. Thor is fascinated by elevators.**

"Oh hi Thor!"

"Hello Steve! What floor are you going to?"

"Floor 42 please. What floor are you going to?"

"I'm going up and down for fun! This is my fifth time! Midgardian 'elevators' are fun."

"Okaaay.. We're at my floor now, see you around I guess. Have fun playing in the elevator."

**14. There isn't an escalator behind the sofa.**

Tony likes confusing Thor with bad magic tricks in his spare time. His latest trick is to pretend that he's going down an escalator behind the sofa by bending his knees a bit more with every step and then watching the thunder-god run around expecting to see a staircase of some sort. Clint still finds it as hilarious as the billionaire does.

Next week Tony's considering attempting to confuse Loki with the same trick. He hasn't really considered that Loki is an actual magician.

**15. There are a lot of colours in the world.**

It started a few weeks ago when Steve asked Tony what shade of red his Iron Man suit is;

"It's not red, it's scarlet!"

"Red."

"Auburn."

"Red."

"Crimson!"

"For goodness sake! Red!"

"Violet."

"What?!"

"Khaki."

"Beige."

"Fuchsia."

"Green."

"Bottle green."

"Wheelie bin green."

"Foliage green."

"Mr Green."

"Who's Mr Green?"

"Dunno. Orange!"

"Maroon."

It's still going on to this day. Quite a few people are confused when the pair start yelling random colours at each other.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's notes: I'm honestly stunned at how well this story is doing! THANK YOU EVERYONE! Right now, I'm writing a couple of one-shots that are too long to put into the drabbles in this story so I'll let you know when they're posted :D Oh, and I might answer reviews as the Avengers!**

**If there's anything you want to see then give me a review and I'll dedicate it to you somewhere. Don't be shy, I won't bite. Much. Tell meeee!**

**This chapter is just random scenarios and speech I made up and couldn't put into stories. (See if you can get all the quotes - like with 'Mr Green' last chapter)**

**16. Everyone loves Tony.**

**Piranha gun!**

Steve - "How are we supposed to calm Loki down while his pissed off without actually hurting him?"

Tony - "I've got an idea!"

"Anyone other than Tony?" *crickets a chirpin'* "Yes, Tony?"

"PIRANHA GUN! OH YEAH!"

"..."

**Tony and his cardboard box.**

Bruce - "Tony, get out of the box. You've got an entire tower, countless houses and you're a freaking billionaire!"

Tony - "This box IS my home."

"It's a cardboard box, not your home."

"The people here actually like me!"

"People?!"

**Cheese sandwiches.**

Natasha - "Okay and now we just have to check the air ducts."

Tony - "I wouldn't do that if I was you!"

"Why?"

"A.. erm... experiment went a biiit wrong.."

"How wrong?"

"I must warn you, there are armed grilled cheese sandwiches in the air ducts."

"..."

**Blowing things up.**

Clint - "These exploding arrows are VERY unstable, be careful!"

Tony - "It's only a few experiments, don't worry."

"I still don't trust you."

*about an hour later*

Thor - "Where's Stark? And why did he take my cape?"

Clint - "No idea. He took my arrows."

*large explosion*

Tony - *runs out of lab* "Some dude just blew that up and it totally wasn't me!"

"..."

**Squid.**

Bruce - "Tony, get out of the pool! Second time this month!"

Loki - "I'm a squiiiiiiiiid."

"You too Loki?!"

"Join us. Be a squid, Bruce."

"This is all Tony's fault."

Tony - "Join us."

"I'm just going to leave you two in the pool..."

"Squiiiiiiiid friends. Squid buddies! I'm a genius, someone write that down!"

**Random disclaimer: In fear of being skinned alive by the boss people here, I would like to remind you all that these amazing characters are not mine even though I would love them all (especially Loki) so, there, I said it. Don't kill me. I have an army.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: A thousand apologies for not updating sooner. Don't shoot me! *dodges rotten fruit* The first story here is based on two suggestions about Phil getting everyone ice cream and Loki with chocolate. Phil lives on! (I had to cut this down to two drabbles)**

**17. Getting ice cream for the Avengers is stressful.**

Agent Coulson decided that the Avengers deserved to have some ice cream - mainly because they wouldn't shut up complaining that they're "boiling". It was only the second day of the year that could be considered hot, as a consequence Tony had gone on strike about the lack of fans in the Helicarrier and everybody else had followed in his example.

Because they were so high up in the air they couldn't go outside to sunbathe so all the Avengers crowded into the coldest room which happened to be Steve's - possibly because after years in ice he was used to the arctic conditions - in swimwear of various neon colours.

Once being allowed entry, Phil walked in to see Nat and Steve sunbathing by the window, Bruce reading on a deck chair, Clint and Thor paddling around in an inflatable paddling pool and Tony dancing to some weird electro music with Loki. "I'm gonna get you all ice cream, what do you all want?"

Bruce glanced up from his book, "Banana! And a flake please." Leisurely, Natasha lifted her head from by the floor and spoke before Clint could, "Chocolate, cinnamon and do they do chilli? Ooooh popping candy!" The archer could hardly contain his excitement at being offered ice cream and was jumping around like a little kid at Christmas. "Yeah, I want popping candy too! And jelly babies, and sprinkles, and syrup, and cherries, and strawberries," he paused to breathe, "and chocolate, and cream, lots of cream, and peanut butter, and chocolate buttons, and jam!" Phil was grateful that he had an outstanding memory as Barton listed almost every sweet topping on Earth. The thunder-god next to him laughed a bit too much at the request before replying in his usual booming voice, "Bubblegum ice cream!"

Coulson guessed that one of the troublesome three - Stark, Barton, Loki - had introduced the Asguardian to gum and didn't want to be responsible for getting the foul stuff out of Thor's hair if it got stuck in there.

Actually, how the hell did they get a paddling pool in here without Fury knowing?

"I want chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce and chocolate chips and a flake! But I do not like cones.." Loki had momentarily stopped his weird dancing to make his request while Tony remained freaking out to the peculiar music. The billionaire snapped out of his crazy trance when he noticed that his now-best-mate had made his demand and turned to Phil with a smug grin, "Well... Finest frozen yoghurt imported from England with premier sprinkles forged from the lost Aztec jewels and perhaps some of your finest Asgardian whipped cream. (Hey Thor, are there cows where you live?!) And served in a cursed golden goblet, salvaged from the ruins of an old pirate crew, doomed to an eternity of starvation, and a flake please! And a sparkler!"

The trickster laughed at Tony's response before starting to dance with him again to a song that Coulson recognised. "I could make a better sparkler with my magic you know.." "I don't trust your voodoo, let science do the work!" Almost every day at one point they would have a friendly argument about what is better: magic or science. Although one time it got a bit less friendly and resulted in half of the billionaire's mansion on fire, but that's a different story for another time.

Steve looked up at the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent with slight remorse at his team mate's actions, "Just vanilla please." "Sure thing Cap, I mean Steve!" Phil beamed at his hero even though he was slightly miffed at being expected to get such random orders for seven people.

Half an hour later, Coulson re-entered the room to find that nothing had changed since his first visit and all the heroes (and the sort of part-time super villain who was good as long as he was provided with coffee) hadn't changed what they were doing one bit. Their faces all spun in unison to face the door and, with the same perfect timing, they all looked shocked at what the agent brought them. "I got you all vanilla. Get over it."

One by one the ice creams were handed out to the thankful-only-because-it's-too-hot-to-complain heroes scattered around the room who ate the food far too quickly to be normal. He gave Steve his last; with a huge grin across his face when he accepted the frozen treat. "Thanks Phil." Them two words made the agent's day.

**18. Going shopping with the Avengers is a _bad_ idea.**

It was Tuesday afternoon so the shopping centre wasn't busy, the perfect time to send the Earth's mightiest heroes on a shopping trip. They all arrived in a S.H.I.E.L.D. transportation veichle except for Tony who insisted that he should take his own car while muttering some nonsense about 'street cred'. Even though his car was a top of the range sports convertible, the billionaire still managed to turn up ten minutes after everyone else - not that the other Avengers (and Loki) minded, they took longer than that to get out of the minibus.

Everybody had been provided with over-large sunglasses and a hoodie so that they didn't draw attention to themselves because they would never leave if someone recognised them as the Avengers. Phil rolled down the window from the driver's seat and told them that he expected them back in an hour or they had to walk home - and they were a long way away from the tower; the resident trickster god had complained at this, "I am a god and I shall not follow your orders," but was quickly shut up when reminded that S.H.I.E.L.D. were providing his spending money.

Steve thought it was best if they all split up into groups so that they could get their shopping done quicker. The second he stopped speaking, Natasha declared that she will go with Barton to keep him out of trouble and half-dragged him into the mall with Tony and Loki laughing their farewells behind the couple. The thunder-god looked hurt when his brother refused to be with him but Bruce hurriedly told the Asguardian that he could join himself and Steve instead. "Do we really trust _them_ two," the super soldier pointed a finger at the trickster giggling with Stark, "to stay out of trouble for an entire hour _without_ supervision?" Bruce shook his head, "I doubt it but what other choice do we have?" They glanced once again at the two best mates before convincing themselves that they could be trusted and walking off into the huge store.

Tony waited until the doors closed behind the other Avengers before speaking, "Now they're out the way, I suggest we play a game." A mischievous grin spread across the god's face at the mention of having some fun then he realised that there was actually stuff he wanted to buy and the smile disappeared slightly. "I have my car so we can spend as much time as we want shopping once the game's over," the billionaire quickly added, his smug smile still in place. "I knew there was a reason I became such close friends with you, Stark." The trickster said as they wandered into the mall discussing their 'game'.

The super soldier strolled silently through the large hall connecting all the different shops together as he listened to Bruce explaining to Thor why 'mortals' enjoyed shopping so much - being a prince meant that he never had to buy anything from a shop personally. Looking for a nice-looking clothes store Steve observed the master archer holding masses of girly dresses as Natasha held one up to herself in front of a full-length mirror, looking very pissed off. Bruce noticed this aswell and gave Clint a friendly thumbs up while trying to suppress his laughter.

Agent Barton had never been more bored in his entire life - and he had been locked in a wardrobe for a week with nothing to do but play hangman with himself. His female friend/sort of girlfriend had dragged him against his will away from his fellow mischief makers so that he could hold tonnes of outfits that she wasn't even planning to buy. "How does this one look?" Natasha asked him while holding up an absolutely horrid blue skirt. "You look beautiful. Now can I-" He was cut off as she threw the skirt onto the towers of clothes in his arms, "Nah I don't like it. What about this one?"

Clint started looking around the various garments in a desperate hope for entertainment when he saw the nearby rail of clothes swaying as though they've just been moved. He stared closer at the items when Tony suddenly ran out from behind them yelling, "You'll never take me alive!" The billionaire ran past the archer laughing before turning to poke what looked like a store mannequin, "Tag, you're It!" Barton nearly commented on Stark's madness when the display came to life, turned into Loki and ran after the genius. Surprised, Clint watched as his two closest friends ran around the store unnoticed by any of the workers, who were too busy reading magazines, playing tag like little kids. He was even more shocked when he felt a cold hand on his shoulder. "I am truly sorry that you cannot join us. Well, not _that _sorry," Loki laughed behind the archer before sprinting off to avoid Tony attempting to tag him again.

Before they left the shop, they made sure to make their mark by throwing around ladies underwear while the billionaire attempted to explain to the god what the different pieces of lingerie did - which earned a laugh from Clint. The staff only looked up irritated at the pair because they must have thought that magazines were more important than two hyperactive men. Although Natasha tried her hardest to ignore her team mates, she did smile a bit when Loki pulled a large white shirt over his head and ran around giggling, "Wooooo I'm a ghooost! Be afraaaaaaiid!"

The 'sensible three' were getting something to eat in a nearby fast food store and Thor had discovered the cheese burger; Bruce had taught him some manners after he had yelled "ANOTHER!" at an unsuspecting young waiter. Steve was thankful for the silence even if it was a little awkward but it didn't last for long when Loki and Tony sauntered in looking a little out of breath, laughing enough to make the soldier suspicious of what they had done.

They pulled up chairs to the small table the others were crowded around the second that they noticed the other Avengers - although it wasn't hard to notice them in an empty restaurant. Before Steve could say anything, the man of iron placed a large water melon on the small table that creaked under the excessive weight of the fruit. The questioning glares made the trickster start laughing hysterically again, grabbing his ribs as if he was about to explode. "This. Is. My friend," Tony gasped between his endless giggles, "Walter. Walter Melon."

Bruce sighed and shook his head, "Did you carry that melon all the way here just to make that pun?" Both the tricksters laughed even harder - which didn't seem possible but it was - as they nodded, shaking with laughter.

Once they had calmed down enough to breathe kind of normally, Loki looked up at the three men that hadn't stopped staring at them in disbelief, "I think our work here is done. Enjoy the melon!" Tony nodded in agreement with his friend before standing up in sync and leaving as quickly as they got there. "Now, you said something about a trolley race?" The trickster asked Tony just as the door closed behind them.

"I nominate Thor to carry the melon!" "Agreed."

Late that night, Tony and Loki crept into the tower covered in feathers, fruit and God-knows-what giggling something about being kicked out at closing time.

**A/N: To clear up any confusion; Loki isn't an Avenger, he just lives with them. Hope you enjoyed the longest chapter I've ever written!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: YO YO YO I'M BACK! *clears throat* I believe it's suffice to say some time has passed between the last chapter and this one... Just the one drabble today but I felt it had to be done before the next chapter.**

**Oh and I've changed my pen name! *jazz hands***

**19. Squid Fever is contagious.**

It was 6 o'clock and Director Fury was already awake and dressed in his usual leather jacket - unlike the majority of S.H.I.E.L.D. who were still snuggled up in their top-secret agent beds, dreaming top-secret agent stuff. He wasn't always up this early but he had a bad dream. Even the director of the freaking Avengers has nightmares now and then. It started off with him being on a desert island, drinking a cocktail, and ended with him being eaten by a giant octopus made of lava. Weird indeed.

He grabbed an apple from the Helicarrier kitchen before strolling into the bridge to check on what's happened to the world while he was sleeping. A couple of agents were tapping at keyboards randomly around the room and nothing interesting seemed to be happening. Phil was sat reading a Captain America comic at the large table situated to Fury's right, he would've just stayed at the Avengers Tower but Loki said that the constant stalking of Steve is "creepy".

A cacophonous beeping broke the silence, an alert that one of the Avengers - mainly Stark - was in the news. The few agents in the bridge crowded around the director's personal screen, waiting to see what the news was.

One young man who looked like he would rather be sleeping turned to face another guy next to him, "I bet it's Stark."

"Nah. Ten dollars say it's Clint."

"No bets to be made," Fury stated as he strode over to the screen that the crowd were gathered around and unlocked it so that they could all see what set off the alarm:

**Breaking News**

**Stark Tower turns to _Squid_ Tower?**

The screen filled with a news report of how the Avengers Tower - _not_ "Stark Tower" - had been covered in gigantic photos of squids. Damn squids. There was hundreds of posters of various sizes coating every single window of the skyscraper.

Before the director could start trying to find the vandals the camera zoomed in on three men, standing on the Iron Man suit's landing pad, with a massive red banner that said; _"JOIN US. BE A SQUID BUDDY."_ It was obvious that it was the troublesome three that had caused this, who else would be stupid enough? Barton, Stark and Loki - Fury couldn't remember the god's surname so early in the morning - waved at the camera with huge smirks, as if they knew that Fury could see them, before losing their composure in fits of laughter. By the looks on their faces, they had giggled for some time.

"Sir, what should we do?" The agent who thought that the billionaire had caused this asked after watching the three idiots laughing for about a minute - and it didn't look like they were going to stop anytime soon.

"Let them have their fun." The corners of Fury's mouth twitched into what could be described as a rare smile.

"But this squid madness has gone too far!"

"I actually quite like the cephalopods."

The young man looked up at the director like he had turned into a squid himself, "Not you too..."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Wow, I haven't been ably to reply to my reviews but I have read them all and I'm so glad you all like the story! Thanks to Avengerscrazygal whose suggestion fits perfectly into this drabble and to Thor Odinson for being with me in that dingy at the beach.**

**_My fans are my Squid Buddies. Based on real events._**

**20. Tony and his pirate ship.**

In the crow's nest of his new pirate ship, Tony Stark swung his feet over the edge of the wooden slats while gazing out to the horizon. After watching Pirates of the Caribbean he desperately wanted to try becoming a sailor - well, he was already a billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist, superhero etc. - so he decided to buy an authentic ship. Having almost unlimited money had its perks considering that it allowed him to buy the original Black Pearl used in the movies. He was very glad with his expensive purchase for once - normally he had about 401 problems with something and ended up ranting to whoever cared until he just gave up to remake the item himself, the main reason he builds his own cars or improves them until they're unique. But this ship, _his_ ship, allowed him to have freedom and power like his Iron Man suit but without the authorities trying to take it away from him.

The silence was absolute bliss for the man who spent most of his time living in the city and fighting off robots, aliens and fellow Avengers.

He wasn't alone though, even Tony couldn't sail a proper pirate ship himself, so he had kidnapped some of the greatest heroes in the world to go with him. Last night, the billionaire had slipped a couple of sleeping pills into the Avenger's (and Loki's) drinks and flew them to the ship while they were sleeping deeply, leaving a little note for Fury that read, "We're on holiday. Defend the world yourself while we're gone." So far it was definitely worth it. Why hadn't he thought of this before?

Tony straightened his captain's hat - he had to get one even if he wasn't bothering to dress in full pirate gear, a black tricorne - just as the silence was broken by Clint. His crew was finally awake...

~x~

Clint awoke to the gentle swaying of the sea and the faint crashing of waves. He muttered something incoherent in his half-asleep state while shuffling around in his hammock, the lack of a blanket irritating him. It took a few minutes for him realise that he wasn't at home - last time he checked, he didn't live at sea.

A large thud made him sit up and look around where he was. Seven hammocks were situated around the reasonably large room, five had the other Avengers in them - Tony wasn't present and Thor had fallen out of his, hence the thud. Opposite where the archer sat, a small round window showed waves crashing against the side of whatever ship they were on.

"What the hell happened?" Bruce muttered, brushing hair out of his eyes while trying to not fall out of his hammock as well.

"The future king of Asgard has been kidnapped! Alert the authorities!" Thor looked around at the other Avengers like any of them knew what happened.

"Shut up, you inconsiderate oaf, before I shut you up myself and you won't like my methods," grumbled Loki as he sat up and took in where they all were, "Are we on a pirate ship? Cool."

"Brother, you are unharmed!"

Natasha had the quietest reaction, she just walked out the room muttering, "I'm gonna get my own room."

"Looks like another one of Tony's stupid ideas," Steve dead panned as he climbed out of the hammock he was in.

"Yeah, notice how Tony's the only one not here. And hasn't he thought of how the _Other Guy_ would feel about this?"

Clint looked around at everybody in surprise as they sat there in silence, letting the reality sink in, before he yelled out to the billionaire who he guessed would be nearby. "I'M GONNA KILL THAT _GENIUS_!"

~x~

All of the Avengers stood in silence around the mast as Tony climbed down to the deck, glaring at the billionaire's back getting slowly nearer to them. When Stark was finally standing before them, the silence was broken by Clint's irritated yelling.

"Stark... WHY ARE WE ON A FREAKING PIRATE SHIP?!"

"I can ex-"

"NO. You kidnapped us and expected us to play along with your stupid pirate fantasy, I want to go home."

"You can't go home. Consider this a team building exercise."

"I hate you Tony." The others just stood in silent agreement with Barton as he argued with the billionaire; Loki actually looked pretty amused.

"_Captain_ Tony."

"May I interrupt?" Thor's question stopped the two Avengers quarrelling like little kids as the attention was turned to him instead, "What_ is_ a pirate?"

"A pirate is a person who commits warlike acts at sea without the authorization of any nation." _(Thank you Wiki)_

"How the hell did Loki know that when Thor didn't?" Clint looked at the two gods in shock, still slightly irritated that they were at sea and not chilling in the Avengers Tower.

"I watched that pirate movie with Stark. You know, that one everyone else said was too childish to watch?"

"Guys, sorry to break your arguments but if were going to be at sea for a while - which I'm guessing we are - then I'm off to catch some rays. Not every day an agent gets a holiday." Natasha sauntered off to the higher part of the deck, her words making Tony grin in achievement.

"You heard the woman! Go off and relax you scurvy bilge rats. Captain's orders."

"Man of iron, why isn't Mjonir here?"

"Well I can't lift it and that reminds me, _no_ powers to be used!" Stark finished that statement with a glare to Loki, who looked murderous at being told to use no magic.

Steve looked tired with all the madness that had happened so far that day so he dragged Barton off by the elbow, grumbling that they would make breakfast together - trying to stop any more arguments arising. Not wanting to stand around awkwardly Thor and Bruce went off to search the rest of the ship, the scientist telling the god more about pirates as they went. The trickster god seemed the least bothered about waking up in the middle of the sea so he sat down on a nearby barrel and started to read, a book magically appearing in his hand.

"Hey! No magic."

"Shouldn't you be off doing something useful, _Captain_?"

~x~

The super soldier was glad to find that the kitchen was fully stocked with enough food to last the team until Tony gave up on his pirate fantasy - the billionaire would get bored pretty quickly with the lack of electricity. He would have been happy preparing the food if it wasn't for Clint constantly spilling everything and blaming it on the ship's _"ghost"._ After the archer had tipped over his bowl of flour for the fourth time, Steve ordered him to leave and not return until breakfast was ready; he was unsure if Barton did it on purpose or if he really was that bad at cooking.

In order to stop himself from being bored, Clint decided to make the most of the ship's rigging by climbing around like a spider or a circus act. He swung around in circles above the deck a few times while laughing at how free he felt with no work to do or Fury giving him orders - not noticing how Loki looked up annoyed at the archer's giggling interrupting his reading. Stopping to catch his breath and admire the view, he felt something slithering around his leg like a snake and looked down to see a nearby rope tying itself around his foot as if it had a mind of its own. Clint started yelling for help as more and more ropes crawled around him until he was hanging upside down, but quickly shut up when he heard the trickster laughing up at him.

"LOKI! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, JUST YOU WAIT YOU IMMORTAL BASTARD!"

Tony looked up at where the shouting was coming from to see Barton hanging from the rigging like a doll; he had to stop himself from laughing at the red-faced archer to tell off the god in hysterics on the deck. "Rudolf! No magic!"

"I do what I want."

"Let Clint down."

"YEAH LET ME DOWN YOU-"

"Shut up Barton, nobody cares."

"You shut up too, Loki, and let him down."

"Aye aye Captain..." The ropes untangled from around Clint until he fell ungracefully in a heap in-between Tony and Loki. He was about to shout at the god when Steve announced that breakfast was ready and he ran to the kitchen at the speed of light.

The billionaire and the Aesir wandered over to the scent of food at a casual pace but regretted their laziness quickly when they saw that _all_ the food on the ship had been eaten by the thunder-god and Clint. They had eaten everything in a matter of minutes! That food was meant to last the entire team for a week - Tony wasn't planning to keep them at sea forever against their wills. The two latecomers shuffled back out to the deck, grumbling at Natasha who was eating a sandwich with a smug smirk, and sat in the middle of the empty wooden floor.

"Stark, I'm hungry and bored."

"Me too Lokes."

"Find me entertainment or I may consider mutiny."

"You wouldn't dare, would you?"

"I will if I continue to be bored."

"Fine, erm... Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me." Loki raised an eyebrow at the billionaire who started singing - well, trying to sing - at the top of his voice, and it didn't look like he was going to stop any time soon.

~x~

Because Thor had eaten all the food aboard the ship and Tony's constant singing was annoying Bruce, he took the billionaire fishing in a dingy. The trickster god, archer and soldier watched in amusement as Banner rowed the little boat away, while Stark yelled, "Help, I'm being kidnapped by a mad scientist! Avenge me!"

It took Bruce a while to row out far because, with just one paddle, they ended up going round in circles. Tony found this amusing but it did get a bit annoying after the fifth time of bashing into the side of the ship...

Once the pair were a suitable distance away from the ship, they got out fishing rods and assorted bait so they could start catching their dinner. About ten minutes passed and absolutely nothing had happened, Bruce was glad at how calming the sea was because it reduced the chance of the _Other Guy_ appearing but he must admit that he was starting to get bored. Tony, however, was bored within thirty seconds of starting to fish and had spent the last few minutes waving over at his three friends on the ship - he didn't want to interrupt Bruce's focus incase it resulted with him getting no food tonight. His patience didn't last for long though.

"Bruuuuuce?"

"Yes Tony?" The scientist sighed, half annoyed that the silence didn't last for long and half glad that the silence was broken.

"_Captain_ Tony," Bruce rolled his eyes at how the billionaire insisted to be called the captain all the time. "What if I catch a shark?"

"I doubt you will..."

"But what if I do?"

"Then throw it back!"

The air fell quiet again, until Stark whined to the scientist again, "Would the Hulk eat a shark?"

"Tony! If you keep talking then we won't catch anything!"

"Oh, so _you're_ the captain now?" The billionaire asked accusingly, challenging Bruce to defy him, "Well I won't stay silent. I do what I want."

"That's Loki's lin-"

"Not important! I'm captain and that's that."

Before Banner could reply, a larger-than-normal wave hit the dingy - causing it to fill up with water like a floating paddling pool. Tony screamed like a little girl, feeling his hair in search of his hat, "My hat! Where's my hat?"

"Tidal wave! We're sinking!"

"Never mind that, get my hat!" Stark's pirate hat was bobbing away nearby, just out of reach, and Bruce could tell that the last command was a _"Captain's order"_ without even having to ask. He looked over to the billionaire to see him genuinely worried about losing his hat and even though Banner didn't want to go and get it, his clothes were already soaked through and he didn't want to be responsible for the loss of Tony's hat, so he jumped into the freezing sea to retrieve the tricorne.

He retrieved it easily before it floated away too far and began to swim back to the dingy as Tony stood up, attempting to get the water out of the little boat. Just as Bruce was about to hand back the hat, a wave knocked Stark off-balance and he fell in with a lot of yelling followed by a giant splash. The scientist laughed as he climbed back into the little boat, managing to get rid of most of the water, and watched Tony attempting to make his way back towards the dingy. The billionaire failed epically at getting back into the boat, his jeans were weighed down with excess water, and took a good ten minutes trying before Bruce finally tugged him ungracefully in the dingy - Loki and Clint's laughter could be heard even from this far away from the ship.

Not having caught anything but wanting to dry off, the pair rowed back to the black ship in an awkward silence. They dragged the dingy and fishing equipment up to the deck with them to find all the Avengers had assembled to watch their failure at getting food, staring at them in silence. After glancing at each other, the billionaire and the scientist started laughing uncontrollably - the situation was too funny to stay silent at.

Tony and Bruce's laughter was cut short by a gigantic thump, as if something large had hit the bottom of the ship.

"What was that?" Steve warily asked to the others - all of which were stood around the deck like statues, apart from Loki who was looking over the opposite edge of the ship so that nobody could see his expression.

"A kraken," the trickster god replied casually as he turned around so that everyone else could see the smirk spreading across his face.

"A kraken? Like the one in the movie?" Tony looked as if he didn't believe Loki at all.

"Yeah. I was bored so I summoned a kraken..."

"YOU SUMMONED A FREAKING SEA MONSTER?!" Bruce looked a little green while he yelled at the god; Loki didn't seemed at all concerned at the enraged man in front of him, instead he busied himself with gathering cannon balls. Natasha was currently informing the thunder-god what a kraken is, he said it sounds like a creäture from Asgard so he wasn't really that scared, before they both ran off to set up the cannons below the deck. Stark and Clint looked like excited little kids while they helped the trickster setting up the cannons around the sides of the deck.

Another large thump sounded from below the ship and Steve ran over to the starboard side of the deck to see a large purple-grey tentacle rising from the murky depths. It was twice the height of the mast and towered above the five men on the deck, who stared up in shock mixed with awe at the display.

"What do we do Stark? You're the captain!" Natasha could be heard shouting from below the deck above the sound of angry waves crashing into the dark wood of the ship. Before Tony could reply though, another three tentacles rose around the ship, completely surrounding the Earth's mightiest heroes. The ship slowly started to rock more fiercely than any storm could make it and a low moaning could be heard from the monster in the ocean; even Loki looked terrified even though it was_ him_ who summoned the creäture. The billionaire seemed to be stuck to his spot on the deck as the swaying started to make a few barrels roll around, one narrowly missing him.

He snapped out of his trance when Steve grabbed his arm for stability, shouting in his ear. "Stark!"

"Oh, erm, FIRE!"

The loud blasts of cannons firing filled the air, Tony ran to the opposite side of the deck to fire at the tentacles towering over from the left. The constant cannon fire didn't seem to do any good though as one of the tentacles crashed down onto the deck - the wood shattered like glass and everyone stared at the other Avengers, unsure of what to do. Natasha and Thor ran out from below the decks as another tentacle smacked into the side of the ship, causing water to start filling up the lower decks at an alarming rate.

"Why did I let you watch the film with the kraken in it?" Tony shouted to Loki over the commotion of the others running around like it would stop the monster from destroying their ship. The trickster god laughed at the chaos - well he is the god of chaos so of course he'd like it - while he watched the ship slowly started to sink, the creature's tentacles were pulling apart the wood easily.

"THIS IS THE END!" The thunder-god yelled over the sound of crashing waves and breaking planks as the ship sunk into the ocean with nothing the Avengers could do about it.

~x~

The Earth's (and Asgard's) mightiest heroes were floating in the middle of the sea, with no land in sight, clinging to broken planks so that they could stay afloat while they waited for S.H.I.E.L.D. to rescue them. Loki had directed the kraken away once it had finished wrecking their ship and sent an SOS to Director Fury, with an amused grin across his smug face. After all that commotion, Stark still managed to keep his hat on.

"I hate you Tony." Steve grumbled, grabbing onto a barrel with Thor - who was complaining that his hair was wet.

"_Captain_ Tony."


End file.
